Marriage vows cover many important themes, like staying together in sickness and health, or in wealth and poverty, until death separates them. However, they don’t mention issues like secretly taking money from a shared account or deciding to give away the family dog without any discussion. Many women are now sharing their experiences online about when they felt their vows no longer mattered. Several viral discussions have asked wives to describe the specific moment they chose to seek a divorce, revealing that their reasons go beyond simple household problems. Some women highlighted moments that were the last in a series of smaller issues, while others referenced a single troubling event involving a partner who didn’t recognize their behavior as problematic.
One woman recalled a trip to Mexico six months before her marriage ended, where a wave knocked her off her paddleboard. While she struggled, her husband continued paddling away, and a stranger had to help her. Instead of feeling concern, her husband was upset that another man helped her.
Another woman shared that she was losing her hair and wore a beanie. Her husband thought it was funny to pull the beanie off in front of others, exposing her bald spots, leaving her in tears.
One wife recounted a trip to Disney with her husband and children. While managing their infant and their oldest son, who has autism and tends to wander off, she asked her husband for help. Instead of assisting her, he insulted her.
Until 1970, women in the U.S. had to prove that their husbands had done something wrong to divorce them. Most states required a judge to agree on grounds for divorce, often due to infidelity or cruelty. California changed this by introducing the first no-fault divorce law in January 1970 under Governor Ronald Reagan. Other states followed suit over the next forty years, with New York being the last to adopt it in 2010. Now, couples can end their marriages by simply stating they want different things, and many of the women in these discussions provided clear examples of their experiences.
One account described a husband who cracked his wife’s back and then quickly began packing his belongings, believing he might have harmed her.
Another woman shared a troubling memory from her pregnancy, where she was sick the entire time. One night, while she was ill and using a bucket, her husband stepped over her to drink a glass of water and then returned to bed, leaving her to struggle on her own.
In another case, a woman mentioned that the day after giving birth to their son, who was in the NICU, her husband went on a fishing trip across the country, even though he knew she had surgery while he was away.
Research shows that many of these experiences are common among wives. Michael Rosenfeld, a sociologist at Stanford, analyzed data from a national survey and found that women initiate 69% of divorces in heterosexual marriages. He noted that unmarried couples end relationships at similar rates, indicating that the imbalance occurs primarily in marriages, where wives might feel they have more reasons to leave.
One woman stated that after giving birth, she had not eaten for 37 hours while her husband stayed home, only coming to the hospital the following day for the birth.
What are your thoughts on these experiences?
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Source: Bored Panda, by Eligijus Sinkunas