Holidays often bring drama, especially when family gatherings involve relatives and their guests. Hosting such events can be challenging, as many factors can lead to conflicts. One person shared their frustration online about how their in-laws often took over their holidays by bringing uninvited guests. This individual expressed annoyance at their brother-in-law, who brought a new girlfriend to Thanksgiving each year, and they wanted it to stop. They also felt that their spouse was not supportive in addressing this issue.
Thanksgiving is usually a time for close family, but this couple was tired of uninvited guests, particularly from the brother-in-law, who seemed to have no boundaries. Hosting a Thanksgiving dinner can be quite expensive, and the presence of unwanted guests adds to the strain. Some family members may take advantage of the situation, showing little regard for the hosts’ feelings or financial burdens.
Family dynamics can create a lot of stress during the holidays, compounded by financial worries. Many families face pressure to uphold holiday traditions while also dealing with rising costs. Research indicates that these financial concerns often lead to anxiety over travel expenses, providing traditional meals, and buying gifts. This year, the average cost for a traditional Thanksgiving meal per person is estimated to be between $8 and $10, a rise from $5.52 in 2025. When including premium foods and drinks, costs can increase significantly.
In light of these economic challenges, hosts are likely to prefer fewer guests, especially those they didn’t invite themselves. This includes the brother-in-law’s girlfriend, who the original poster felt was an unwelcome addition to their holiday celebrations. The brother-in-law’s behavior was reportedly supported by their parents, which can create a cycle of enabling. According to Psychology Today, this dynamic can hinder adult children from becoming independent and responsible.
Enabling behaviors can also lead to feelings of entitlement and a lack of accountability. This can create tension between parents and their adult children, as both sides may feel unappreciated or restricted. Many online commenters suggested that the spouse was not being supportive by not standing up to their brother-in-law and parents. Research shows that having an unsupportive partner can increase stress levels, leading to a rise in cortisol.
Carolyn Riviere, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, emphasizes the importance of setting clear boundaries with in-laws for a healthy marriage. She explains that boundaries should be established calmly and firmly, and couples need to prioritize their relationship. The partner whose family is overstepping should take the lead in addressing the matter without attacking their family.
How do you handle uninvited guests during family holidays?
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Source: Bored Panda, by Rūta Zumbrickaitė