Have you noticed your child acting out in a store or seen another child having a meltdown over wanting candy immediately? It might seem easier to give in to their demands to stop the noise, but this could lead to bigger problems later on. The important question is: Why does this behavior occur, and what can parents do to address it? In a discussion on The Jefferson Fisher podcast, Dr. Becky Kennedy was asked about preventing entitlement in children. She stated that entitlement stems from a fear of frustration.
Dr. Kennedy provided examples of how this looks in everyday life. For instance, a child may feel frustrated when they want a toy but are told no, or when they cannot play with certain blocks right away. She explained that frustration arises when children desire something they do not have, and this can lead to them not learning to cope with that feeling.
She also highlighted the role of fear in this behavior. Dr. Kennedy noted that if parents consistently remove frustration by giving in to their child’s demands, they reinforce a cycle of fear. Parents often act this way because they do not want their kids to feel upset, so they end up giving them everything they want.
Dr. Kennedy indicated that entitlement can carry into adulthood, where individuals may still struggle with frustration. She mentioned that adults who feel entitled might not have developed proper coping skills. They may expect the world to cater to their needs, expressing dissatisfaction when things don’t go their way.
Turning back to children, Dr. Kennedy offered solutions. She asserted that the best approach to prevent entitlement is for parents to allow their children to experience frustration, but in manageable amounts.
In an interview with Upworthy, psychotherapist Dipesh Patel, who has two young children, discussed the concept of entitlement further. He clarified that entitlement can mean different things. Some children may refuse to share, be unaware of others’ feelings, or think that their perspective is the only one that matters. He emphasized the need to understand these varying forms of entitlement.
Reinforcing Dr. Kennedy’s ideas, Patel pointed out the importance of helping kids learn to cope with their discomfort. He noted that parents often instinctively want to help their children through tough moments, which is both a psychological and physical reaction. However, he suggested that if parents recognize these situations as opportunities for learning, they might adjust their responses.
Patel acknowledged that there are many different ways to parent. He pointed out that while no single approach is perfect, some methods help children learn to manage their emotions better.
He ultimately supported the idea of “lighthouse parenting,” which encourages guiding children while allowing them to navigate their own feelings.
What experiences have you had with managing your child’s frustration?
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Source: Upworthy, by Cecily Knobler