Many parents have a favorite child, though they may not admit it. This favoritism can show in small ways or be very obvious. For instance, if a mother gives all her inheritance to one daughter while leaving nothing for the other. One woman shared her experience of feeling like she was always in second place while growing up. Her sister often came out on top, even dating and marrying a boyfriend who was important to her. The woman felt hurt when their mother decided to leave the family house and business to her sister, the so-called “golden child.” She then chose to cut ties with her family and move on. A decade later, her sister reached out to her. Having always felt like the outcast, she was devastated to discover what was in their mother’s will.
Research shows that parental favoritism occurs in about 65% of families. A study involving over 19,000 people found that parents often slightly favor their daughters over their sons. This favoritism can have lasting negative effects not just on the child who is less favored but also on the “golden child.” Experts explain that favoritism goes beyond just receiving better birthday gifts. It consists of a consistent pattern of different treatment in areas like attention, affection, and discipline.
The more favored child may receive excessive praise and resources, which can lead to issues with self-esteem and anxiety over performance. They often feel pressure to uphold their parents’ image and may struggle with their sense of self that relies on outside validation. Siblings who receive less attention and favor can experience poorer mental health and strained relationships within the family.
Children who feel less favored might develop a belief that they are less deserving of love and acceptance. This belief can affect them throughout their lives, making them compare themselves to others in various aspects like work and relationships. Meanwhile, the favored child faces their own challenges. They might not be allowed to express pain about their position and often hear comments that dismiss their feelings. This lack of recognition can prevent them from understanding the emotional costs of favoritism, such as guilt and relationship issues.
How do you think favoritism affects family dynamics?
Sources:
Source: Bored Panda, by Viktorija Strelciunaite