Parents often find themselves repeating requests to their children, like asking them to brush their teeth or clear dishes. This can be tiring and frustrating. Dr. Rebecca Kennedy, known as “Dr. Becky,” is a clinical psychologist and the founder of Good Inside. She has suggested a quick method to encourage kids to be more cooperative and polite. Dr. Becky is also the author of a bestselling book, and her platform has attracted over 100,000 subscribers.
In a TikTok video, Dr. Becky shared a simple 15-second question that can help improve behavior in children of any age. She advises parents to ask their child what they could do better as a parent.
Dr. Becky emphasizes that even if a child’s response seems silly or impractical, parents should listen attentively. She believes that simply hearing their child’s thoughts can positively influence their behavior. She also encourages parents to ask follow-up questions to engage further.
Dr. Becky explains that when parents use strategies like this during calm times, it can help reduce conflict later. She acknowledges the need for more immediate strategies as well, mentioning her workshop on handling problem behaviors, which offers various approaches for managing challenges with children.
She compares this practice to a boss asking an employee for feedback on their management style, highlighting that the act of asking and listening builds mutual respect. This kind of communication conveys care, respect, and a commitment to the relationship, fostering a stronger bond with children that can lead to better cooperation.
The main idea from her video is that strengthening connections with kids can reduce rudeness and disobedience since they feel valued and understood. Although there are no specific studies backing this technique, it aligns with research indicating that children whose parents practice warm, two-way communication are more likely to improve behavior over time. This approach helps children respond positively to requests.
In the comments, some parents shared humorous reactions from their children about how they could improve. For example, one parent mentioned their five-year-old suggested they should burn dinner less often, while another child simply told their parent to look better and get a haircut.
Dr. Becky highlights that asking this question is an effective way for parents to build strong relationships during peaceful moments, rather than trying to connect during conflicts. This reinforces the idea that prevention is often more effective than dealing with problems after they arise.
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Source: Upworthy, by Tod Perry