It can be challenging to remain silent when the urge to express your thoughts is strong. However, there are times when sharing your views on topics such as current events with family or correcting your boss in a meeting might not be wise. Practicing self-control during a disagreement with a partner can help you avoid needing to apologize later. By resisting the impulse to speak when it’s not necessary, you become a better listener and provide others the chance to express their opinions. Strengthening that mental ability to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting can significantly improve social interactions. Research analyzing 144 studies indicates that employees tend to perform better when leaders listen more and talk less.
One helpful technique for managing the desire to speak is known as the WAIT method, which stands for “Why Am I Talking?” Taking a moment to consider this question before responding can change your focus from wanting to be heard to wanting to add value to the discussion. The Center for The Empowerment Dynamic suggests some reflective questions to ponder after taking a WAIT pause: What is my intention behind my upcoming words? What question might I ask to gain a better understanding of the other person’s perspective? Am I trying to shift the focus onto myself by speaking? How can I become more comfortable with silence instead of rushing to fill it?
The WAIT method can prevent excessive talking. In professional meetings, individuals who dominate the conversation risk losing others’ interest and making their points unclear, which can lead to being perceived as self-centered or overly confident. Typically, those who communicate clearly and concisely are the ones who gain attention and respect. Commanding the room doesn’t guarantee that you are benefiting yourself or aiding the conversation.
Additionally, the WAIT method allows you to take a moment during intense discussions. This pause enables you to cool off and reassess your conversation goals, helping to prevent regrets about what you might say.
In a work setting, such as a team meeting, total silence isn’t ideal. Speaking up is important, but how much should you contribute? Cary Pfeffer, a speaking coach and media trainer, provided a guideline in a 2021 LinkedIn article. He suggested that in a meeting with six participants, each non-leader should aim for three contributions in an hour. He noted that if someone speaks five or more times, they may be over-contributing, and it’s essential to allow space for others, even if it leads to some awkward silence. Speaking less than three times may suggest that your input is not being adequately represented.
Ultimately, the WAIT method encourages you to pause and verify that you’re not merely speaking for the sake of it. It ensures that you have a clear purpose when participating and that you add value for others in the conversation. Knowing when and why to speak can foster positive contributions and help you avoid unintentional mistakes.
What strategies do you use to know when to speak in conversations?
Sources:
Source: Upworthy, by Tod Perry